Five ways to put yourself out there with confidence
Most of us want to run a mile at the thought of 'self-promotion'. But if you want people to know you’re worth listening to, you’re going to need to speak up and show them.
Whether you want to be considered for a more senior role, get your views heard by senior decision makers or peers or influence your teams to buy-into your ideas, learning to put yourself out there with confidence is a skill worth mastering.
Here’s how to master the art of showing up well and move past the self-doubt or imposter feelings than might show up as you do.
1. Simplify your message
One of the most important parts of feeling confident when looking to influence is being clear about two things:
The message you want to communicate
What you want people to do as a result.
Less is more. Over-explaining can communicate a lack of confidence. Challenge yourself to say or write one third less and watch how much more impact you have.
2. Focus on truth
Facts trump fear every time.
Your brain is hard wired to keep you safe. Putting yourself out there does not meet its ‘safe activity’ criteria so it will feed you ‘imposter’ thoughts and feelings to stop you. This is normal - but you can get one step ahead by focusing on the facts.
Take each thought in turn and break it down with these questions:
Is this true?
What else could be true?
Would your partner/peers/boss think this is true?
By analysing each thought and reorienting yourself to what is true you can start to take back control of how you feel.
3. Know your limits and strengths
Knowing your limits gives you the opportunity to set boundaries, and prepare well and play to your strengths.
Great at talking but hate writing? Find a way to get in front of people physically.
Good at big picture but miss the detail? Run your ideas by a detail person before you share them more widely for robust challenge.
Present well to peers but not when in front of your board? Get support to understand why you’re sabotaging yourself and put preventative strategies in place.
When you know your limits, patterns and strengths you can put a plan in place that sets you up for success.
4. Feel the fear
Another way that your brain likes to trick you is by catastrophising. This mental habit overestimates the potential for something to go wrong - and often occurs when we take ourselves out of our comfort zone.
An exercise which can create perspective and give back control is ‘fear setting’.
Created by Tim Ferris, this is the process of exploring what you’d actually do if the worst-case scenarios actually happened.
By exploring all the possible negative outcomes, you take back control of how you feel about things going wrong.
5. Use body language
Your brain picks up on your body language - just like other people do.
By changing your posture or position you can send messages to your brain that you are ok, confident, and in control.
Try this:
Stand tall with your chin up and your shoulders back
Notice what happens in your body. How does it change the way you feel?
Now try this:
Stretch yourself out into a star shape as wide as you can.
What difference does this make? Do you feel any awkwardness or resistance?
If so, listen up - your brain might be sending a message back to you.
Helping you to feel more confident putting yourself out there is just one part of the work I do with clients in my StoryMasters Leadership Coaching programme. If you’d like to explore more about how StoryMasters can help you to become a more confident, credible leader check out the details here or get in touch for a chat.